Every time I applied for a position, my head was full of doubt. Who did I think I was? I had no real professional experience. Was I even a professional? And every rejection seemed to confirm that. I wasn’t good enough (there goes my chance to be a professional). It is impossible to talk yourself out of that doubt. I had to be brave and reach out to family, friends, and mentors to pull me out of that hole. And when that rejection eventually came, I had to ask for reassurance. I needed their reassurance to keep applying and not settle for the part time hustle.
After I received a rejection email from an in-person interview, I had had it. On the drive to my part time job, I called my mom crying. I had put everything into that interview. I had built myself up from rock bottom, put on makeup, and pushed my anxiety aside. And all I got was another fucking rejection email. I wanted to give up that night. I was angry with the world and wanted to watch it burn. I had felt an unfamiliar rage and it took my mom an hour to calm me down.Read More »